Personal Boundaries Pt. I - Ep. 120 (Boundaries Series)

Do you ever feel like you give and give to others, while your time, energy, and desires are taken for granted? If so, then perhaps some boundaries are in order. Listen in this month to learn what boundaries are in the first place, and how to set boundaries personally and relationally.

Boundaries on your Time: How do you desire to spend your time? When, and with whom? What pockets of time do you have that you’re unhappy with, or have mixed feelings about, where setting a different boundary may free you up from negative emotions and allow you to connect in more genuinely enjoyable ways? And what’s one small boundary that you could create and communicate in one area of your life in order to spend your time how you want to in another area of your life?

Boundaries around your Attention: How are you spending your attention? Who in your life deserves your attention but currently feels unworthy of it? What do you desire to pay better and more attention to? And what’s one small personal boundary that you could create for yourself to help you give attention to the things and people you desire to? 

To work with Kensi, visit bravemarriage.com.

Thanks to John Tibbs for the amazing music each week; my husband, Evan, for podcast editing; & YOU, the listener, for tuning each week to make your marriage even better! May God be glorified in you and through your marriage.

Boundary Setting - Ep. 119 (Boundaries Series)

Do you ever feel like you give and give to others, while your time, energy, and desires are taken for granted? If so, then perhaps some boundaries are in order. Listen in this month to learn what boundaries are in the first place, and how to set boundaries personally and relationally.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

Are My Boundaries…

1. Clear: What is my boundary? What do I want it to be and why? Am I clear on what’s okay and what’s not okay? Am I clear on how I will respond or manage myself if the recipient of my boundary gives me pushback? Have I left anything to wishful thinking?

2. Communicated: Has the appropriate person been told? Given what I know about the recipient of my boundary, what would be the best way to communicate this boundary? Have I let the recipient know what I will do in the event that my boundary is crossed?

3. Enforced: Has the boundary been enacted and consistently reinforced? Have I stayed strong in the face of any manipulation tactics or workarounds my boundary? Am I beginning to feel like a broken record?

4. A Good Fit: What’s the nature of that relationship? Is what I’m asking appropriate to the relationship? How close am I to that person? How much do I need to share when clearly communicating my boundaries? Does this boundary make sense when I consider my relational context, and my present capacity, margin, and responsibility? 

To work with Kensi, visit bravemarriage.com.

Thanks to John Tibbs for the amazing music each week; my husband, Evan, for podcast editing; & YOU, the listener, for tuning each week to make your marriage even better! May God be glorified in you and through your marriage.

Supporting versus Enabling - Ep. 118 (Responsibility Series)

Do you know the difference between supporting and enabling? Or what it means to take responsibility for carrying your own load while sharing in each other’s burdens? Listen in to find out - your action step is below:

Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. In what ways am I encouraging and empowering the growth and development of my spouse? My kids?

2. What do I find myself doing for my spouse (and my kids) what they can and should do for themselves?

3. How can I take personal responsibility this week to live out of my integrity and to share in my family’s burdens…but while carrying only what’s mine to carry?

To work with Kensi, visit bravemarriage.com.

Thanks to John Tibbs for the amazing music each week; my husband, Evan, for podcast editing; & YOU, the listener, for tuning each week to make your marriage even better! May God be glorified in you and through your marriage.

Acting Out of Integrity versus Deception - Ep. 117 (Responsibility Series)

Lasting change requires more than behavior modification. Are you taking responsibility for yourself and the inner work required to make lasting change in your marriage? Listen in to find out.

3 Ways to Know When You’re Acting Out of Deception:

1. You feel like you’re “playing the part,” but you haven’t taken on the new identity for yourself.

2. You’ve modified your behavior, but you haven’t addressed your thoughts or feelings.

3. You feel proud or satisfied when something you say or do elicits YOUR desired response from your spouse (rather than their truest response).

3 Ways to Know When You’re Acting Out of Integrity:

1. Your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are all aligned.

2. You think of others…not in terms of how they’ll respond to you, but out of genuine care, concern, and compassion for them REGARDLESS of how they respond to you.

3. You experience inner freedom and peace.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Where are you noticing a tendency to act out of deception instead of integrity?

2. Is it a matter of not quite being where you want to be and needing the perseverance to keep going, to move from first order, surface-level change to second order, lasting change? Or is it a matter of beginning to notice where you might be deceiving yourself and taking responsibility for that?

3. In order to take greater responsibility to act out of your integrity, what’s the next right thing for you? Individual counseling? Journaling and prayer? Perseverance when marriage feels hard? Courage to show up more fully in your own life?

To work with Kensi, visit bravemarriage.com. May God be glorified in you and through your marriage.

Thanks to:

• John Tibbs for the amazing music each week.

• Evan Duszynski for podcast editing.

• You, the listener, for tuning each week to make your marriage better.

You're Responsible To (Not For) Your Spouse - Ep. 116 (Responsibility Series)

You’re responsible to your spouse, not for your spouse. So what does that look like in marriage? How do you do life as a team without taking on too much (or not enough) responsibility? Listen in to learn more.

To work with Kensi, visit bravemarriage.com.

Thanks to:

• John Tibbs for the amazing music each week.

• Evan Duszynski for podcast editing.

• You, the listener, for tuning each week to make your marriage better.

May God be glorified in you and through your marriage.