emotional health

She Deserves Better - Ep. 142

She Deserves Better Author on the Brave Marriage Podcast

Hello, Brave Marriage Podcast listeners! It’s been quite a long time. Over the past year, I have been seeing clients, doing a lot of writing over on Substack under the publication title, Self of the Therapist, where I’m publishing a memoir in real time about some of the very things I’m talking about today with Sheila Wray Gregoire.

To listen to our previous conversation, listen here.

Sheila and her team at Bare Marriage have written and published a book called She Deserves Better, a book written for mothers and daughters. I wanted to have Sheila on the show to share her new book with us, co-authored by Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, her daughter, and their statistician, Joanna Swawatsky because it builds upon a lot of the research outcomes they published in The Great Sex Rescue, and answers the question that many millennial Christians and parents are asking the church which is: “Where do we go from here?”

If you’re not familiar with her work, Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind the largest single-blogger marriage blog, which was rebranded a few years ago to Bare Marriage. With her witty, no-nonsense approach, Sheila and her team are passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. Sheila is based in Ontario, Canada, where she lives with her husband and has two adult daughters and two grandchildren. 

Resource Links:

Self of the Therapist (Kensi’s Substack)

Ep. 142 - A Couple’s Guide to Great Sex w/ Dr. Keith and Sheila Wray Gregoire

She Deserves Better - available for preorder now!

The Great Sex Rescue

Bare Marriage Blog

Podcast Editing by: Kensi & Evan Duszynski

Music by: John Tibbs

A Couple’s Guide to Great Sex w/ Dr. Keith & Sheila Wray Gregoire - Ep. 141

SHOW NOTES:

Dr. Keith and Sheila Wray Gregoire join us for a healthy conversation about married sex that combines Scripture AND research. If you want to resolve to have better sex this spring, go pre-order their new books (releasing March 15, 2022)!

RESOURCE LINKS:

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex

The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex

The Great Sex Rescue

Orgasm & Libido Online Courses

Bare Marriage Podcast

Sheila’s Sex and Marriage Blog

Podcast Editing by: Evan Duszynski

Music by: John Tibbs

Boundaries Around Disrespect - Ep. 124 (Boundaries Series)

Brave Marriage Podcast.png

If your spouse is disrespectful, and/or you find yourself treating your spouse the same way, then it’s time to set some real relational boundaries for the protection of your mental and emotional health. Below are some questions to ask and next steps to take as you think through setting unilateral boundaries:

Identity: Am I relying on others’ praise to fill me up or give me a sense of self? Am I caving in any way to the criticism of others and believing what they say over what God says of me? In what ways do I need to place more of my worth and value in who God says I am? With whom do I need to set a boundary?

Disrespect: Where do you need to set a boundary for yourself around defensiveness, criticism, contempt, or stonewalling? Which ones do you engage in and how can you catch yourself earlier on when you start to feel flooded, to stay in control of your reactions? Likewise, where do you need to set a boundary with your spouse? In what ways have you found yourself undermining your spouse? In what ways have you experienced your spouse undermining you? Move forward with setting your boundaries. 

Example: “I understand that you’re upset, but I can’t hear what you’re saying when you phrase it like that. The way you’re saying it is too hurtful to sink in. Now, I’d like to better understand where you’re coming from, but for me, we need to put this conversation on hold until both of us are calm, things are expressed differently, and I can better hear what you’re trying to say.” And then, follow through on your boundary! If your spouse won’t let it alone, reinforce your earlier statement. “I told you, I am not capable of having a conversation like this, so I’m walking away or taking some time until we can come back together and talk productively.”

Bad Behavior: Here are a few linked resources with phone numbers to help:

To work with Kensi, visit bravemarriage.com.

Thanks to John Tibbs for the amazing music each week, Evan Duszynski for podcast editing, & you listener, for tuning each week to make your marriage even better. May God be glorified in you and through your marriage.