Family of Origin
My parents had the odds stacked against them. Their young age, lack of education, motivation for marriage - nearly all the statistics pointed to their marriage not making it.
Though my mom took us to church each Sunday, and my dad worked hard to provide for me & my 3 younger sisters, figuring out the marriage thing, amidst everything else, proved to be a struggle.
But then, something shifted. When I was 10, my dad recommitted his life to the Lord. My mom began to take her faith seriously, modeling a real relationship with the Lord. Suddenly, I had a front row seat into Christ’s redemptive power, & to my parents’ personal & relational transformation.
So how did my parents beat the odds?
By God's saving grace.
And a good marriage counselor.
Calling
Unbeknownst to me, my parents were in & out of marriage counseling for about a decade. Meanwhile, sitting at one of Beth Moore’s Living Proof Live events with a group of women from my church, I sensed the Holy Spirit whispering to me through the reading of the Word (Matthew 9:37-38). So at 16 years old, I had the clearest sense that I would go to college & become a marriage counselor. That was 15 years ago & I’ve yet to look back. I love what I do & I’m grateful for the way the Lord has woven my life’s story together.
“You really were put on the earth to do this very thing. The woman sitting beside me said, “you can tell how passionate she is about what she does.” The information you presented was so applicable to our daily lives & situations. You gave examples or used our situations to put into action the information you gave, so it became more real. Thank you again. I know each person today took something away that they can use to better their relationships...I know I did.”
Marriage
From getting married on the playground to reuniting our senior year of college, our lifelong saga resulted in real-life marriage.
Relatively speaking, Evan & I started with the odds stacked in our favor. I mean, we loved Jesus; we loved each other; we’d known each other our whole lives; & on top of that, we got married while I was in grad school to be a marriage therapist. So that equals marriage success, right? Right?!
But through the years, we’ve experienced career change, loss of loved ones, pregnancy loss, & infertility, among other family & life transitions. And through it all, I’ve become convinced that success in marriage is not dependent upon always feeling happy & in love, romanticizing or spiritualizing our relationship, or even having the best set of circumstances.
Healthy marriages happen when two people get honest with themselves & each other before God; when they find the courage to grow & change from the inside out; & when they practice the humility & flexibility required to adapt, adjust, & thus transform the relational spaces they inhabit. Little by little, day by day.
Conviction
I believe there’s no better time to invest in yourself & your relationship than in the first few years of marriage.
We have to lay the groundwork upfront, lest we fall into unhealthy habits & patterns without realizing it.
My vision is to see as many couples as possible living into their God-given identity & purpose, while co-creating the most meaningful marriage possible throughout their lives together. Because if we, as Christ followers, can get the purpose of marriage intellectually AND put healthy principles into practice upfront, in the first few years, then I truly believe that lives, marriages, & churches will be changed for the better.
But it won’t happen unless we lay the groundwork. Until we take action, grow in self-awareness, & surrender to Jesus.
So if you desire to have a better, braver marriage, you're in excellent company here.
Rooting for you always,
Kensi
Kensi Duszynski, founder of Brave Marriage, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Professional Coach, and host of the Brave Marriage Podcast. She’s spent thousands of hours working specifically with couples toward personal growth, relational health, and mutuality in marriage. She knows the value of doing your personal and relational work early on, and nerds out over watching others do the same.
Kensi holds a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling from Asbury Theological Seminary and a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Asbury University. She’s served as an adjunct counseling professor and guest lecturer, a graduate intern supervisor, and chair of her graduate counseling alumni board. She also has 10 years of small business experience in two different industries.
Specialized couples training includes: Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level I & II); Gottman Relationship Checkup; Relationship Enhancement Couples Therapy; Relationship Enhancement Education; Prepare-Enrich; SYMBIS Assessment; AACC’s Grieving Pregnancy Loss and Healthy Sexuality.
Kensi and her husband, Evan, have been married since 2012. Together, they enjoy the outdoors, walking and talking about what they’re learning, and spending time with friends and family—especially their nieces and nephews. Individually, they enjoy a whole host of other things that they then share with each other.
Intentionally absent on social media, you can find more of Kensi’s work below: