Lasting change requires more than behavior modification. Are you taking responsibility for yourself and the inner work required to make lasting change in your marriage? Listen in to find out.

3 Ways to Know When You’re Acting Out of Deception:

1. You feel like you’re “playing the part,” but you haven’t taken on the new identity for yourself.

2. You’ve modified your behavior, but you haven’t addressed your thoughts or feelings.

3. You feel proud or satisfied when something you say or do elicits YOUR desired response from your spouse (rather than their truest response).

3 Ways to Know When You’re Acting Out of Integrity:

1. Your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are all aligned.

2. You think of others…not in terms of how they’ll respond to you, but out of genuine care, concern, and compassion for them REGARDLESS of how they respond to you.

3. You experience inner freedom and peace.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Where are you noticing a tendency to act out of deception instead of integrity?

2. Is it a matter of not quite being where you want to be and needing the perseverance to keep going, to move from first order, surface-level change to second order, lasting change? Or is it a matter of beginning to notice where you might be deceiving yourself and taking responsibility for that?

3. In order to take greater responsibility to act out of your integrity, what’s the next right thing for you? Individual counseling? Journaling and prayer? Perseverance when marriage feels hard? Courage to show up more fully in your own life?

To work with Kensi, visit bravemarriage.com. May God be glorified in you and through your marriage.

Thanks to:

• John Tibbs for the amazing music each week.

• Evan Duszynski for podcast editing.

• You, the listener, for tuning each week to make your marriage better.